Tiffin Project

From the category archives:

Kitchen Porn

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Thank You

by Jacob Galbraith 10.11.2010

The kitchen is the only place that I know that takes these two little words and does with them whatever it pleases. Gratitude is miles away towards the end of the night when the customers are pecking at the ruined corpse that once was a well prepped station, yet I still find myself giving thanks. […]

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Shit Show

by Jacob Galbraith 09.22.2010

Hollywood tainted love by leading people to believe that a wealthy man can fall for a wig wearing prostitute, and porn spoiled sex by tricking men into thinking that all women secretly crave explicit exploitation. Professional cooking, in turn, has been permanently fucked with by none other than Thomas Keller and his portrait of culinary […]

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CCC2010: Plenty of Cooks, Not Enough Fish

by Jacob Galbraith 09.16.2010

In a word, I expected shenanigans when I signed up to attend and write about the 2010 Canadian Chef’s Congress. As a most unfortunate side effect of being a cook first and writer second (boyfriend third), is that I couldn’t wrangle the entire weekend off, and therefore found myself missing out on the Friday night […]

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Thumbnail image for CC 2010: Aquaman, Smokies, and Sustainable Campfire Sing-Alongs

CC 2010: Aquaman, Smokies, and Sustainable Campfire Sing-Alongs

by Jacob Galbraith 09.11.2010

One of the perks of being a cook who can also read and write at a fifth grade level is that I’m occasionally called upon to attend events I would never be able to make it to. Last May brought the Vancouver Craft Beer Week, and today I’ll be frolicking amongst approximately five hundred or […]

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Members Only

by Jacob Galbraith 08.26.2010

For all of the things that cooking professionally contributes to my fleeting grip on sanity, there are aspects which come extremely close to redeeming the unseemly qualities that are scrambled throughout all of my writing. These “perks”, as I know them, are the things that I would dearly miss if I were to one day […]

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A Bunch of Dummies

by Jacob Galbraith 08.08.2010

For many, cooking for money was never part of a grand scheme. Ask any cook how they ended up in clogs and you’ll hear “I just fell into it” far more often than “I always wanted to be a chef”. The designation of perchance profession leads most people to believe that the average cook wears […]

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Just the Tip

by Jacob Galbraith 07.12.2010

It is internationally acknowledged that cooks everywhere are extremely disdainful of servers, except of course for the one that they happen to be sleeping with, if such a swindle could occur. This has been the arrangement since long before The Last Supper, and I really can’t see much reason to carry on this way any […]

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The Soggy Bacon Blues

by Jacob Galbraith 06.29.2010

There’s a pretty firm line drawn in the sand between the person I am now and the person I was before I started cooking all those years ago. It used to be that I couldn’t enjoy most food because I didn’t know any better, but now that I do know, I struggle to find food […]

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Summer

by Jacob Galbraith 06.01.2010

In my pre-cooking years, or “back when my hands were beautiful”, summer meant what I assume it means to most everyone else: rapidly melting popsicles, the _____ (body of water), and fun. These days it means at least 4 months of feeling like the aforementioned popsicle, and feeding more people than the other 8 months […]

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What Would Jesus Drink

by Jacob Galbraith 05.15.2010

For a long time, it seemed as though I wasn’t meant to ever set foot in the Alibi Room. All of my attempts were poorly planned, and always resulted in arriving to locked doors. I left the city, and the Alibi Room, one year ago, and have long since dreamed of what actually happens in […]

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Strange and Bitter Fruit

by Jacob Galbraith 03.10.2010

A few weeks after using Urban Diner to host my very first public airing of the “c word”, I’m bringing you some thoughts on a big old “b word”: bitterness. What follows may come off as bitching, but what I’m trying to do is explain the expression that’s permanently painted on every weathered cook’s face. […]

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Sgt. Sous Chef

by Jacob Galbraith 02.25.2010

For a long time I was under the impression that when someone becomes a sous chef, they also become an asshole. As if by some kind of bastardy witchcraft they just transform on the day that they got their promotion. This isn’t the way it works.

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