From the category archives:

Kitchen Porn

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Just the Tip

by Jacob Galbraith 07.12.2010

It is internationally acknowledged that cooks everywhere are extremely disdainful of servers, except of course for the one that they happen to be sleeping with, if such a swindle could occur. This has been the arrangement since long before The Last Supper, and I really can’t see much reason to carry on this way any [...]

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The Soggy Bacon Blues

by Jacob Galbraith 06.29.2010

There’s a pretty firm line drawn in the sand between the person I am now and the person I was before I started cooking all those years ago. It used to be that I couldn’t enjoy most food because I didn’t know any better, but now that I do know, I struggle to find food [...]

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Summer

by Jacob Galbraith 06.01.2010

In my pre-cooking years, or “back when my hands were beautiful”, summer meant what I assume it means to most everyone else: rapidly melting popsicles, the _____ (body of water), and fun. These days it means at least 4 months of feeling like the aforementioned popsicle, and feeding more people than the other 8 months [...]

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What Would Jesus Drink

by Jacob Galbraith 05.15.2010

For a long time, it seemed as though I wasn’t meant to ever set foot in the Alibi Room. All of my attempts were poorly planned, and always resulted in arriving to locked doors. I left the city, and the Alibi Room, one year ago, and have long since dreamed of what actually happens in [...]

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Strange and Bitter Fruit

by Jacob Galbraith 03.10.2010

A few weeks after using Urban Diner to host my very first public airing of the “c word”, I’m bringing you some thoughts on a big old “b word”: bitterness. What follows may come off as bitching, but what I’m trying to do is explain the expression that’s permanently painted on every weathered cook’s face. [...]

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Sgt. Sous Chef

by Jacob Galbraith 02.25.2010

For a long time I was under the impression that when someone becomes a sous chef, they also become an asshole. As if by some kind of bastardy witchcraft they just transform on the day that they got their promotion. This isn’t the way it works.

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Word Fluffers

by Jacob Galbraith 02.11.2010

Like most cooks, the first food writing I ever got a hold of (and took hold me) was Anthony Bourdain’s Kitchen Confidential. That book kick-started a quest for more of the same, finding only more of Mr. Bourdain’s gospel but not much else. It’s nice to read words about what you do for a living [...]

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In A Kitchen On A Saturday In July

by Jacob Galbraith 01.26.2010

The day begins with an assault on the senses; the sun pokes you in the eye with its pointy fingers, while the compost bins gang up on your nostrils. You’re in the alley. The rest of your body is sore from the previous nights’ service, 150ish hungry people pillaged your village, leaving you with almost [...]

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Free Labour

by Jacob Galbraith 01.18.2010

Young me had it all. He worked 8 hour days, took lunch breaks and had more free time than he knew what to do with. When young me wasn’t feeling so well, he would take the day to recover and watch The Price Is Right. Young me thought he was awesome, but I think young [...]

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Diamond Juice

by Jacob Galbraith 01.04.2010

I hate my own cooking. It wasn’t always this way; in the beginning I loved everything that I made, regardless of how disgusting it was. After six years of assaulting my unsuspecting palate with countless taste tests, it is extremely difficult to find merit in anything that I cook. Not because it isn’t any good, [...]

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