Obviously pizza scissors are the ultimate gift, for anyone pizza fan or not. They’re a double threat, I can see them gliding through an apple pie quicker than Tiger goes through bar skanks. So duh, if everyone on your list doesn’t already have a bunch of different sized pizza scissors, you obviously get them that. But if they already have pizza scissors, here’s another idea.
A wise friend once told me that all gifts should be consumables, never burden a friend with another sweater or even worse, some dubious objet d’art they’re expected to display in their home. So yeah, it’s pretty much booze then. Which honestly I can’t think of a single coherent argument against. Nothing says welcome to the world baby Jesus like Jack Daniels Single Barrel.
If you want something other than liquor (and I’m not sure why) a superb alternative is Edward Behr’s completely excellent quarterly “The Art of Eating”, perhaps the best food magazine around. It completely forgoes the food as porn substituite route that the glossy mass market periodicals all seem to take and instead focuses on erudite in depth investigations into topics you didn’t know interested you until you began reading the article.
I’m a sucker for The Best Food Writing series. I say sucker becuase it’s never the best, it’d be more accurately named “Most Predictable and Mediocre Food Writing by Big Name Celebrity Chefs.” I guarantee that one issue of TAoE contains more brilliant writing than the whole collection does.
You may also consider Gastronomica, which frankly lacks the enthusiastic sense of discovery that TAoE does , while being more academically inclined, it is a scholarly journal.
So there you go, shopping done. Scissors, booze, and a couple magazines. If that list doesn’t sort out everyone you know, you know the wrong people.
~KT
{ 6 comments… read them below or add one }
Pizza scissors? Another item to add to my “Finally!” list.
It can go beside “friends giving bottles of booze as gifts”
Also, not to claim better-or-worseness, but my favourite foodie mag is Cooks Illustrated for its cerebral breakdowns of classic dishes.
you should write a sears-type catalogue and mail it out around October.
i’m delighted to say that an enormous chunk of friends will be receiving all of the above mentioned gifts, within a very sizable stocking to get the job done. in fact, i will challenge them to drink while cutting up magazines with the pizza scissors.
the rest will be deleted from facebook immediately if not sooner, and/or reported as spam on twitter. they’re the wrong people.
let the good times roll.
:)
I have a big belly laugh for the first of my friends to nonchalantly pull pizza scissors at the dining table. And we’ll all know who to blame for spreading this blasphemy.
When I say blasphemy, I mean because of its eventual storage in your kitchen is a conundrum I would not wish on my second worst enemy.
love booze
I would like anything from the Guy Fieri’s Knuckle Sandwich product line. Thank you.
@jackbraddaniels Never ever mix Xmas morning (ie annual festival of resounding disappointment) + booze + pizza scissors. Bad recipe, man.