Hit & Run has been away for a while, but watch for it on an upcoming Celebrity Rehab with Dr. Drew. In that vein, we bring you a clean and sober edition featuring the best, or at least snarkiest pie you’ll ever eat, Giada making a mockery of the Italian language and a requiem for blue fin tuna. Come on in, it’ll hurt less than your H1N1 inoculation.
The anti Alton Brown provides easy to follow directions for making pie. I’m sorry, did I say pie, I meant motherfucking pie.
Are you one of those wimps who is afraid of a pie crust? Here, I will tell you everything you need to know right now, you whiny little girl. Yes, that is a picture of an apple pie that I whipped up the other week in about 8 seconds. Loser! Here are the tools you will need: NONE.
I’m totally making this, and by making I mean screaming incoherent half drunk directions at my family while I perch on a bar stool.
Next Gawker edits video clips of Giada De Laurentiis speaking Italian, just like how she learned watching The Godfather over and over. The National Italian American Foundation should have channeled some of the energy they mustered to protest The Sopranos into stopping Gianda from ever saying proosssuuutoo ever again on national TV. Aside, how does that spindly neck hold up that enormous dome? Her head size is almost as unnatural as her breasts. I bet Everyday Italian employs some of the best puppeteers money can hire to manipulate her head with a complex series of invisible wires and pulleys.
Last in the batting order we have a mass via The Atlantic Magazine for the functionally extinct blue fin tuna. Expense account sushi lunches will never be the same.
~KT
{ 1 comment… read it below or add one }
Go gloat about your superiority and complain about how hard you’re working and smoke or read for a little while.
Made my night. Thanks