South American Sidetrip: Uruguay

(See part one here, see part two here.)

The ferry from Buenos Aires to Colonia Uruguay takes an hour, we rented a car there and set out for Montevideo 200 kilometres down the coast. Uruguay has a similar relationship to Argentina as Canada has to our southern neighbour, smaller quieter and perceived around the world to be essentially the same. It’s not, Montevideo is far less concerned with fashion, far more concerned with tradition than their more flamboyant neighbours across the River Plate. The three best meals I’ve had in South America have all been in Uruguay.

We stopped at a roadhouse/truck stop enroute for lunch, the ubiquitous fast food of Uruguay, the chavito, poutine of the gods. From the bottom up; Papas fritas, then a steak, tomatoes, roast peppers, ham then cheese and a fried egg on top. You slice through getting some of each level in every bite. If I had easy regular access to chavitos I’d be 300 pounds.

Then onwards to Montevideo. Find a hotel, check in, run across the street to buy a bottle of wine, except we forgot a corkscrew so bought a box instead. Evil vile nasty boat gas was our pre-dinner cocktail of choice while relaxing in the room, while watching Transformers as it was the only thing in English. Terrible, but I’ll admit it satisfied a certain lowbrow part of my brain stem and made me quite pleased actually. (Aside, never look at Meagan Fox’s thumbs. She is physical perfection, but paid for her beauty with perhaps the most grotesque toe-thumbs on the planet.) Went out for dinner, found a hopping upmarket local spot, secured a table, (we had to wait until 11:30 however. Go home and go to bed people.) I ordered the rack of lamb. When it arrived I was given ten ribs. TEN! My wifes steak was big enough to hide a cat under. The meat was beautiful, flavourful and tender. For sides we had fries (in Argentina/Uruguay, fries are coming with everything, don’t fight it, just enjoy.) Mushrooms in cheese sauce (strangely Campbells like.) Mushrooms without cheese, and a big bowl of melted cheese. Why I need a giant bowl of melted cheese with half a lamb is anyones guess. But if you dip your fries in the cheese  everything that’s good about gratin potatoes happens in your mouth at once. Cocktails to start, an appetizer of chiles stuffed with tuna, the mains as above, a very good bottle of Uruguayan wine, coffees and desert came to about seventy bucks, with tax and tip.

Got up the next morning, checked out of our hotel and headed to old town Montevideo down by the port. There they have a market filled entirely with restaurants that grill animals in huge quantities to feed the downtown lunch crowds. The Uruguayan grill is different from the Argentine in that a huge basket holds great hunks of burning hard wood, the coals are pulled out periodically and placed under the grill. The smell is the market is as good as the smell of a freshly bathed baby. Smoke and fat wafting together.

It was too early for lunch, but there was no way I was passing this by untried. Ordered a half order of sweetbreads and a half of beef rib. A quarter of each would be a reasonable amount to expect a normal person to eat. The meats were easily the best grilled meats I’ve ever eaten. Succulent and cooked perfectly, beefy and sweet. Amazing. The fat on the ribs was the creamiest and most tender I’ve ever eaten, you want to keep eating this bovine version of uncured lardo, but common sense doesn’t let your pleasure receptors fully appreciate the experience.

Keep in mind half the bones are on my wifes plate, the short ribs were an inch an a half thick, and the length could be measured in feet.

Then back on the road to Colonia, and the ferry back to Buenos Aires with a stop to see the UNESCO World Heritage old town in Colonia. It was pretty, but dull, like tourist towns the world over.

~KT