The Brave Bull at Clarke and Hastings definitely falls into the category of things that have always existed, and if you wanted to make a venn diagram you could add places no ones ever been in the intersecting circle. It’s been there since I was a kid, back then it exuded a seedy glamour, a vibe well hidden under the Hastings grime now. We decided to take a chance on Friday night on our way to a Giants game. (Aside; New record for some jerk spilling his beer on me, three minutes after entering and I already smell like a spent mash tun in a crappy industrial brewery. And another aside before returning to our prime focus, why is the beer selection at The Coliseum the worst on the planet? Rickards Red as my “premium” draft choice. Embarrassing.)
We entered with trepidation, the twelve year old me would have expected to find it filled with extras from The Sopranos, the signage always screamed MOB JOINT to twelve year old me. Current me was more afraid of a poorly maintained dump truck racing to beat a light at Clarke, losing control and running up onto the curb flattening the whole family. Neither scenario played out. Three or four tables early on a Friday night, the building definitely looks more imposing from outside.
On to the important part; It wasn’t that bad. Okay, I lie it was terrible but what the hell do you expect from a steak dinner for $8.95? It was fair value, you pay very little, and the food isn’t that good. Half litre carafe of house wine sets you back another seven bucks. Wife and a kid both get prime rib, other kid gets the veal, I go with the sirloin. All meals come with soup or salad, baked potato, faux bacon bits and green onion, plus mushrooms and vegetables. If you’ve ever had a buck ninety-nine steak dinner in a dodgy Reno casino, you know exactly what to expect. Pie with ice cream was $1.85. Someone should tell them they’re leaving fifteen cents on the table with every slice they sell.
The only real downside is the place kinda smells. And the service is glacial, but then again the sole employee is the proprietress and she’s old enough to be my dads grandmother. Back to the smell, it’s half old lady house, and half leaky plumbing rotting the floor boards, maybe throw in a hint of backed up toilet. You spend a large part of the night breathing as shallow as possible. Maybe that accounts for the fact I kind of liked it in spite of it being totally terrible. Maybe oxygen deprivation puts a positive shine on dire experiences, it’d explain why The Keg has those big oxygen scrubbers on their roof.
Many online reviews describe the interior to be 70’s kitch. Uhhh, not really, clearly these people weren’t around in the seventies. It’s less Don Draper and more third best restaurant in Terrace in it’s decorations. Plain formica tables and dirty drop t-bar ceiling is the look.
~KT
{ 12 comments… read them below or add one }
The coliseum serves lousy beer for the same reason BC Place serves shite for way too much money. They got you and they don’t really care about quality, just getting it out.
Sad. I need to go to Fenway.
Better to come to Gotham and eat the best steak, than waste $$$ on mediocrity…
Thank you for that. I haven’t had the courage to eat there, even though every time I pass my curiosity is tickled.
Oh my gonch, this is hilarious. There’s actually food being served in there? It seems like the perfect front for human organ laundering, or money transplanting or something…but actual meat being served to people? I never would have guessed.
This answers so many nagging questions I’ve never had the balls to satisfy for myself. Talent: taking the bullet. Thanks buddy.
Thanks for solving a local culinary mystery. I’ve driven by that place a gazillion times – and have been equally intrigued and frightened by the signage.
What’s your next case? The baffling popularity of Stepho’s?
Thanks for having the stones to dine there, but to take your family…your lucky wife
Let’s make a list of more to visit. Have always been curious about Ciprianos on Main Street. Is there any retro charm to this or is it just nasty?
“No Frills, just good steaks”
doodler – I like your thinking! Send KT into dodgy places first. I propose family dining at The Only next.
(As for Cipriano’s – food is that giant portioned red sauce school of cooking – it’s really neither here or there. The owner though – gives off a really mean vibe.)
i think you caught a glimpse of what dining may become if the recession were to go a little bit deeper. i understand doing something like this to yourself, but your family?
this piece is the stuff of legends.
Canucklehead: last I checked, The Only has been closed for a health violation since March 2009. It was worth going to before that, though. Not much in the way of decent fish & chips downtown any more.
I think you are being a little unfair to the place considering they are charging less than 9$ for a bowl of soup and a steak. I went there 2 weekends ago out of similar curiousity and did not notice any smell at all.
Given the location I was expecting truckers and hookers having dinner between tricks but the place was semi busy with stylish looking people who looked like they were on their way to a club or a show.
It was a bit of a struggle to find a clam in the the clam chowder and it was on the underseasoned side but for a bowl of soup perfectly acceptable. My steak, while a little chewy was a very even medium rare, a hot baked potato and some boring veg. The food was a little bland but terrible is a bit much. Terrible would be an overcooked steak and a case of food poisoning. I think they deserve some credit serving a 9$ steak and not giving everybody the runs.
One would truly have to be a “Brave Bull” to walk in in the first place.
But I think AC is right. Not getting food poisoning after walking out of this place is a real blessing. This place may be dated and food is not competitive with the rest of Vancouver’s culinary delights, but 30+ years ago it was sort of the Earl’s/Milestones/Joey’s of the day [shivers] when Greek/Italian/Chinese/Japanese restaurants were oh so exotic and adventurous.
And that’s exactly when I recall first seeing this restaurant, in the 70s, when a family member worked in a textiles company just 3 doors away. I don’t recall the old name, but quite possible the proprietor(s) were the same.