Our Bartenders Can Beat Up Your Bartenders

I like to think that I am known, where I am known, as a pretty cool cucumber behind the bar. ‘Unflappable’ is the condition I aspire too; I consider Lloyd from the Shining to be a personal hero (as mentioned previously); and I think the only redeemable aspect of the movie Cocktail is the Coughlin’s Law that posits a bartender must “never show surprise, never lose your cool”. But man, the other day this guy seriously threatened to put a crack in my proudly steely composure. Get this, Vancouver, it concerns you too…

I was presiding over a pretty sleepy sunny afternoon at the bar when this suit ‘n tie-type enters stage left, let’s call him, oh… “American Business Traveler”. Mr. ABT heads straight for the bar…

“Hey Chief, I’ll take a…oh, forget it, what’s on tap?”

Yours Truly: “No, go ahead, what were you going to ask for?”

ABT: “Ah, I was gonna ask for a Margarita or a Martini and then I remembered I was in Canada so f#@% it. What do you have for beer?”

I could feel the hairs on the back of my neck start to bristle. I took a long, slow breath in. This is what historians refer to as the ‘moment of choice’. Do I A), ask him how he could possible find it okay to not just insult me to my face, but simultaneously insult my. Entire. Country. And then launch into the enormous cache of crappy American cocktail and service stories that I carry around in my bartender story bag (I have plenty of great American service stories too, it’s fair to note). Or do I B), slap the smile on and go ahead and make him a Margarita despite his insistence on draught beer thereby shutting his face and changing forever his opinion of Canadian barmanship?

Well, thanks to Lloyd and a couple of decades in the industry, option B was opted for. And he even bought a second one, thank you very much. But what I wish I had to throw at him was this article from today’s Georgia Straight.

An exerpt:

…here’s a quick look at how Vancouver’s craft bartending and classic cocktail scene got to where it is—and that’s far from fruity, sweet “martinis”. The revival of craft bartending (which honours cocktail history and culture, along with spirit knowledge) and classic cocktails in this city was sparked early in the decade, thanks to Chris Stearns and Jamie Boudreau of Lumière Tasting Bar. Other talent quickly emerged, such as Nick Devine, [Jay] Jones, [Steve] Da Cruz, and [Sophie] Taverner, as well as [Mark] Brand, [Josh] Pape, and [Tannis] Ling, who did lengthy stints at Chambar.

Yep, we’re living in the new era of the bartender here in Vancouver, and it feels good. It feels…redemptive. I’m truly proud to live and work in a city that is forging itself a reputation akin to the glory days of what is undoubtedly a craftsman’s trade. Hey, maybe we should start a secret society? Like the Freemasons? We could have a secret handshake! And underground meetings! And initiation rituals, and…

Ah, heck with it, we should probably just stick to making great cocktails. For anyone from anywhere who is lucky enough to visit our bars.

To your health…

Simon Ogden | Urban Diner