There’s an irritating and potentially embarrassing scene that all bartenders have to deal with on occasion, and every time we’re confronted with it we vow it will never happen again. But it always does, it’s as inevitable as a cheap tequila hangover, and all you can do is fumble your way through it with some semblance of your pride intact. But the reality is that, no matter how much you study, no matter how prepared you think you are, someone is going to order a cocktail from you that you’ve never even heard of before. How do you deal?
Considering the zillions of recipes authored since the invention of the cocktail, this situation is pretty much inevitable. You’ve got about three options here. Number 1: fess up. This is usually only a proscribed alternative for a seasoned professional, someone who’s worked long enough behind the bar to be confident enough to know that if they haven’t heard of it, odds are this customer is probably ordering a drink invented by their BFF’s older brother at last summer’s totally awesome spring break pool party. But for the neophyte bartender, admitting that you “don’t know what’s in it” is like climbing out of the pool after a perfect dive and realizing you’ve lost your board shorts. Your options here are to casually ask one of the older, wiser bartenders under your breath if they can tell you what’s in it, or – if there isn’t one of those around – to go straight to option 3 and whip something up with a flourish declaring that “this is how we make it here!”. If you’re going to fail, fail big. And then google the cocktail immediately and lodge the recipe in the recipe section of your brain.
This is not to say that this only happens to the fledglings amongst us. Once upon a time I was working a club on Granville Street that was a popular spot for young Americans between the tender drinking ages of 19 and 21. Long weekends would bring hordes of them up over the border to take advantage of our lower age of imbibement, and one such Yankee Miss approached the dance floor well at which I was working early on a Friday night, and proceeded to place an order for a Scuba Diver.
I’m fiercely proud of my brain’s recipe section, but this one had me stumped. “I’m sorry, a what?”, says I. She (mildly annoyed at her time being so ridiculously wasted): “Um, hello, a Scuba Diver?” It was actually kind of cute, and I had to hide a smirk. “I’m sorry love, but I’ve honestly never heard that one before. But if you can tell me what’s in it, I’m sure I can put one together for you.” And placing one hand on her hip while rolling her eyes, she looked at me like I was the dumbest human being on the planet and said with a pfft: “Vodka, and orange juice?”
So there you go, young Jedis. Listen to your customers, and you can learn something new every day.
To your health…
Simon Ogden | Urban Diner
{ 4 comments… read them below or add one }
Um, vodka and orange juice? Isn’t that like a “Screw Driver” ? ;)
I have a HORRIBLE problem with accents myself. I once confessed to one of my best friends (who is Australian) that I had NO CLUE what she had told me for the past few YEARS.
Yeah, I always said “mmmhmmm” to whatever she said. Until the day she said “I’m really dumb” and I agreed. The friendship was lost. :D
I thought that was called a Greyhound?
Sheee-it.
ITs like the Aussie I worked with (he had a heavy accent) and asked for a Lighter it was his smoke break I thought he said Ladder and pointed him to were all the ladders were hah
I’ll have a “hum n’ poke” please